Painting and Indie Films...

Tonight, I was invited to go to Circle Cinema to catch "Happy Go Lucky." I'm very happy that I went. I have never been to Circle Cinema, but they bring in fabulous indie and foreign films, and I can't wait to go back. I'm really looking forward to seeing "Let The Right One In." I've heard nothing but amazing things about this movie, and I can't believe it's actually coming to Tulsa. Circle Cinema is a gem, and should be enjoyed by all the intellectuals in town...

Afterward, I went home to paint. I haven't been inspired to paint in ages. It was a rare moment, and I took advantage of it. I can't really explain what I was going for, but I was inspired by color. I started with that, and then worked my way into an actual image. I finally saw what I wanted to paint, even though it wasn't really necessary to paint anything other than my feelings...does this make sense? Anyway, I ended up painting something that I kind of feel is a bit telling about the place I'm at right now in life.

The perspective is from out in the middle of the ocean, dark and choppy. Out to the left edge is a cliff, and then from there all the way to the right is more ocean. The sky above the cliff is dark and ominous...pouring rain. Over the rest of the ocean the sky is clearing up, and there's a hint of light coming from the right hand upper corner. The cliff is small compared to the vastness of the sky and the ocean. One tiny speck is standing at the edge of the cliff. The speck must be me. It's no masterpiece, but I like it. The ocean is so big and open...and scary, but the tiny cliff is solid and secure. I would rather be venturing out into this wide ocean than standing in a storm.

Nostradamus picks McCain...

So, I read an article this morning stating that Nostradamus predicted McCain to win the election. With one day left before we know the results, I thought this was a fitting time to post this. For the record, I do not support McCain or Caribou Barbie. Actually, I liked John McCain...I did, before he ever headed out on the campaign trail. And, I'm not a strict democrat...I more or less pick the candidate that I think is best for the job. In general, I loathe politics. Really, it doesn't matter who has the most experience or knowledge...it all comes down to who is more popular. So, yeah...I despise politics. Regardless, I think the best candidate is Obama, mostly because of Joe Biden. So, there's my vote.

Back to Nostradamus...apparently, in Quatrain 78, Century X, he predicted John McCain to win the election. And, here is the proof:

At the war's end:
The Feeble Kept One will strike down the Night
And his Imbecile Queen will rise from the snow
Bedecked in finery and the pelt of a wolf.

Hee hee...Have a Happy Election Day tomorrow!

Man Hunting...

On my continuing quest for the perfect man, I came across this:



I want Don Draper...I wonder if I could myspace-stalk him...

Drama, drama, and more drama...

Why, oh why do I love ellipses? I don't really know...

So, my laptop crashed Friday evening. It was the most frustrating, irritating, crippling experience of the past couple of months...I live on my laptop. I guess that means that I need to live more in the real world...

And yes, it is officially fixed. Actually, like new again. I had the blue screen of death...yea...that bad. Luckily, the only thing I lost were my Web page bookmarks. I'll discuss the laptop story in full later...

So, I'm in another show. It's fun and Halloween-themed. I like...only problem: I'm hurting myself physically every night! So, here's the deal: I bruise easily. I also try to live in the moment of the scene. I forget about all other things that are not directly involving me or the scene I'm in...I can't help it. It's a good thing, and I guess, a bad thing. See, in this first scene, I'm tied up to a chair. I'm unconscious, and I try to break free. So, I struggle. I struggle against the ropes and the chair. I can't get free, or I'm not supposed to. So, I fighting really hard...against myself. I never win. Then, the bruises come. Currently, I look like I have gigantic birthmarks on both my arms that spread out in weird patterns. Last week, one arm was bruised just appropriately that I looked like a heroine junkie. Last night was the first night that they actually started to hurt...

So, I'm fine. The cast feels horrible, thinking they've done this to me. It's all me, folks! My friend K called me a "method bitch" last night. I'm not really method, I just am in the moment of the scene...whatever! Anyway, I can't go out of the house without long sleeves on because people freak out. They see a hint of a bruise and they think I'm the victim of domestic violence. You think I'm joking? It's really funny to watch people as they take in my handiwork.

Anyway, I've got the day off from school and rehearsal and everything else. Gym time in about an hour, and then to bed early...laptop story to be continued...

Getting back on the horse...

So, I've been slacking off. After 6 weeks of intensive workout sessions and healthy eating, I slacked off. I really only have slacked off on the eating. I started eating late at night again, and what's with this new obsession with cheese?!?! Come on now, seriously?!?!?!

Anyway, I'm back. I have many goals approaching quickly. I was wanting time to move faster, but now I would like it to slow down again. I've been slacking in other areas, too, like school. I just need to press through this rough patch, and I'll come out the victor on the other end.

So, I'm OFFICIALLY back on the horse. No sneaking treats of any kind. I mean it. I can't even have a pumpkin spice latte...not one. They're crack. My own personal crack addiction. I can't even venture into a Starbucks right now. It really wouldn't be pretty...I also like their apple bran muffins. They're too good to be low in calories...way too good.

Okay, got to stop thinking about the crack. I have to think about how awesome my body is going to look by end of January. I mean, I'll still have some pounds to lose, but not a lot. The holidays are going to be tough, but I can do it. My will power is strong again, and I will conquer all!!!

Seriously though, pumpkin spice lattes were created by Satan as a way to torture me. Oh, and I haven't gained any weight, I just haven't LOST any more. And crack (aka pumpkin spice lattes) will not help me lose weight...crack is whack, yo!

Punch Drunk and Other Babblings...

I've had 3 hours of sleep in the last 24 hours. I'm going slightly insane with my constant ramblings on random subjects. I'm almost too tired to sleep now, and all I want to do is stress about the show that opens this weekend.

I'm overly insecure with anything I do right this moment, and I'm sure as hell letting everyone know that! ARGH! I think I need a hug...and a nap...

I'll get some sleep, memorize my lines, actually act like a professional actress during rehearsal tomorrow evening (well, I should say "today"), and get my crap in order.

On a side note, I did make some progress in the cleaning/organizing of my closet that's needed to happen since August 2007...when I moved into my loft. I threw out some clothes that will never fit me again (in the good way), and put together a pile to sell to a consignment shop. I also dusted, swept, and vacuumed the entire place...at 3AM. Yes folks...I really did.

Before I start anything else, I'm going to go to sleep...night!

I cheated...

I feel really guilty. I just went to Starbucks and bought a grande soy with whip pumpkin spice latte. After I said that I would wait till Sunday and only get a tall without whip, I did it anyway. I think I have a sickness. If only it was spring time and they didn't have pumpkin spice in...argh!

That, and I think I've eaten, like, 12 pieces of cheese today. If I was pregnant (which I'm not unless I'm carrying Jesus's much younger half-sibling), this would be understandable. However, I'm not (thank GOD!), and I have no excuse for my cravings.

Tomorrow, I must start anew. Now, I haven't consumed over my limit of calories, just it's very frustrating when you're trying to stick to a plan and you don't want to. My willpower sucks this week...

So, for all of those people out there that read this (all two of you), please, PLEASE...I'm begging you now...don't encourage me to cheat! I mean it! I need to stick to the veggie wraps and the teas and water and vitashakes. Just let me get through the next week or two and I think I can get my willpower back. I was doing so well, and then I slipped. I really, really, really mean it. I'm going to be really, really depressed come March when if I'm not suitable for Los Angeles. I might do drastic things...don't let this happen to me!

So, yes, I need support this week. I will hide the cheese, and I won't go near Starbucks. I swear this. If you like the happy Meghan, you will not try to sway me. Now, do your part, and we'll all be happy.

Thank you.

Here's a couple of pics as Mrs. Peachum...

I wanted to show you what I looked like for the show. The camera didn't quite capture the aging makeup, but it did get the white streaks!

Enjoy...

Things to ponder on...

Veneers - To get or not to get?

Granted, I have no $ for said veneers at this moment. However, do I go for the veneers, or do I get the teeth bleached? Mine are nasty yellow (at least I think so) and have always been. So, not sure the bleaching would work as well.

Grande Pumpkin Spice Soy with Whip Lattes

I love them...I mean, LOVE them! If I could have a helmet attached to my head with really warm pumpkin spice latte continually flowing down a straw to my mouth all day long, I would be oh so happy. Another reason why I like fall...

Alas, the pumpkin spice latte is not on my diet plan...why, oh why did I start my diet in the fall? All the good holiday foods and drinks are coming out! Oh well...I went to Starbucks Web site, and if I get a tall pumpkin spice soy w/out whip latte, I will only consume 230 cals (the one I want is 370 cals). It is a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Plus, I can't really afford 1 latte/day right now. So, if I add one latte to my week (on Sundays, which is my "resting" day), I won't really get too addicted, spend way less money, and have a nice treat all at the same time. When I'm rich and famous, I can afford all the pumpkin spice lattes I want AND the personal trainer to kick my butt in gym afterward. Problem meet solution...

Next up, Soy Cheese? Do I make the switch?

At Wal-mart, the soy cheese costs $2.98 for 12 slices. My generic American cheese is $2.46 for 25 slices. Now, I have not sampled the soy cheese. I might like it better, which could cause another problem. I've been snacking on the cheese when I feel slightly peckish. So, the 12 slices would go way too fast. When I'm already spending $2.97 for rice milk, I would like to keep my expenses down. However, I would eliminate dairy completely from my diet with the switch. I'm not sure at this point...

Well, that's all I've got right now. Time to actually do some real work now...

Something really awesome from Google...

Today, Google announced that they will be launching a new application called Mail Goggles. Basically, when activated, the program will make you solve math problems when you try to send e-mails in the wee hours of the morning...basically to prevent drunk e-mailing.

See, I never have that problem, though. My would be drunk texting, and I was guilty of it AGAIN a few weeks ago after about two rounds of cosmos. That's why I try to hide my phone when I know I'm going to let loose for the evening...Now, if they can come up with a problem for drunk texting...

But then again, I can recite some serious Shakespearean monologues while drunk. I'm sure I can do simple math as well...Maybe smart people aren't meant to get drunk?

Check out the article here...

Enjoy!

Autumn...

Absolutely fabulous day today...I had coffee with Amanda downtown. It was perfect weather. After coffee, I walked around the block with her to her car. As I was walking back to my car, the sound of construction and the smell of dead leaves and city made me think of New York...Normally, this time of year I'm in NYC. It made me sad. Then, I realized this time next year I would be living in the city, and I felt a surge of energy.

Something is so fantastic about autumn. I know things are dying, but there's a rebirth of sorts a few months later. Some people focus on the negative, I tend to focus on the positive...when it comes to nature! I love the smell of pumpkins, caramel, apples, cinnamon, hay...aahhhhh! I want to sleep with my windows up tonight.

So, what's new? Well, not much. I have million things to do this weekend, but at least I have a break from performing. I'm basically just focusing on getting my butt in shape (and the rest of my body) and school.

Speaking of working out, I've been going faster this week. I add more resistance every two weeks, and this was an adding week. So, on the elliptical, I've usually only gotten to 3.4 - 3.5 miles in 45 minutes. Really, great time for me...I hate to run! Yesterday, it was 3.63 in 45 mins, and today it was 3.68 in 45 minutes. I don't know if I'll get to 4 miles in 45 mins, but I don't mind trying for 3.75 miles! So, good news with that.

On the food front, since I've been semi-vegetarian for 5 weeks, I think my body wanted more fat/protein. Beginning Tuesday evening, I started craving cheese...of all things. Then, I wanted meat, like turkey or chicken. So, I had one serving of turkey sandwich meat. Then, yesterday...jeez! I couldn't stop eating! I wanted everything I could find...thank God for healthy food in the house. I was so scared when I weighed myself this morning that I had gained 5 lbs...luckily, I hadn't gained anything. I guess I needed it! It's just that...cheese...really??

God, this must be so boring...I'm writing about cheese! Come on, people! I've become a crazy homebody that's obsessing about cheese and working out!!! What has happened to me?!

Well, I will add one more thing for the two people that read this blog...I've written 30 pages or so of a story that I came up with. I've been on a bit of a roll this week with it. Basically, the last 1/3 of the story is pretty much fleshed out. I need to now write a middle part, and connect the beginning and the ending. So, I'm about 2/3 of the way complete. So, I'll connect everything, and then go back to elaborate on some of the key plot points, and then take away any of the dribble. Who knows...I may have the next NY Times best seller on my hands!

Okay, whatever...I'm done for now! Night!

The Work Crew Cometh...

Second night in a row...11PM: Work crew stops in front of my loft to check on some sewer hole. They make all kinds of noise and their yellow and orange lights flash through my windows.

So my question is this: Why are they checking on this hole at 11PM? Why do it again at the same time? Last night, it really started around 1:30AM...which is technically this morning. So, why not check/fix the problem during the light of day? Why disturb my sleep when you wouldn't disturb anyone during the day?

Next item: I have officially decided to spend spring break in Los Angeles. I'm so incredibly excited! So, I've got 5 1/2 months to really get my butt in gear...as for that, I'm doing great. This is my 5th official week of working out 6 days a week. I've also stuck to my diet plan, and I feel great. I'm looking great, too!

I think the crew has gone, so I'm going to try to fall asleep before they come back...Night!

Let me tell you about a little obsession of mine...

Saturdays are fantastic...I mean, when you can really appreciate them. My favorite Saturdays are always in the fall. I noticed the first bradford pears changing color yesterday...I love it. Such beauty in death.

So, my obsession...yes, I have many obsessions really. I typically don't do anything half-heartedly, so I guess that's why they become obsessions. I think this one is innocent enough...veggie wraps! Here's the story behind them...

Over the summer, my friend Janna had purchased a sub from Subway. It was a veggie delight, and she had an extra half. I hadn't eaten all day, and I was starving. So, she offered the other half to me. I instantly fell in love...I really don't know why. So, since my "Operation New Life" started, I've been on a primarily vegetarian diet. I wasn't intending to at first, but now it's just easier. I was on the run due to rehearsals, and so I would stop off at Subway for a 6" veggie delight. Last weekend, I decided to try to make my own version of the sandwich at home.

Basically, it's a whole wheat tortilla, 1 piece of american cheese, spinach, cucumber, tomato, bell pepper, onion, splash of olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Voila! I love it! But, now I have a new problem...that's all I want to eat! I eat it for lunch and dinner...every day! In fact, I just had one...I crave them. Oh well...

Since it's so beautiful out, I'm going to the park to draw. I haven't really done any drawings in 1 1/2 years. I'm starting to feel this creative surge through me that wants to get out...words and images are just constantly coming to me.

Have a fabulous autumn day!

And Life Goes On...

Yesterday, a huge part of my past closed...died, essentially. I knew it was coming for some time, but I didn't know that I would feel the emotions that I'm experiencing for the loss. I thought I had come to terms with the "death" about a month ago. Now, it just feels odd. Like some piece of me is missing...I really don't know how to explain it.

When I was 12, almost 13 yrs old, I was going through so many changes. I had just moved back to Oklahoma from Alaska. I was mourning the loss of a new life and I was full of sorrow for the one I had to go back to. Things weren't perfect in Alaska, but they were different...better. I was finding out the strength I had, the strength that I never truly embraced. I was always afraid...afraid of the "what ifs." Now, I was back in the middle of nothing, with people all around trying to embrace who they thought I was...not allowing me the space to change and grow. I had a new sister, something I never thought would be possible. I had a step-family that I didn't know if I wanted. I was confused by all of the changes and all of the non-changes.

My mother is not a perfect person. I have many issues with her, but it has gotten easier over the years. Some is not her fault, some is her fault and she denies responsibility...not wanting to take blame for hurting someone she loves more than her own life. I do credit her with a few things, though. She pushed for excellence...something I wasn't always willing to do. She saw my talents as something not to be ignored. She pushed for me to get out of the suffocating existence she found herself in. She found my sanctuary. She found my rescuer. She found the one thing that was able to save my life and give it meaning. I will always be eternally grateful for that.

I had wanted to die. I don't really know how else to explain it. I have blank periods of my past...things I can't remember, or choose not to remember. I just remember feeling empty. I remember thinking of death. I remember that I didn't know hope anymore. I remember acceptance of what was.

One of the darkest days was in April 2004. My favorite teacher, a computer lab teacher, perished in an automobile accident. She fell asleep, and went off the road. Ms. Thompson was the only teacher that I can recall that saw my potential. She had this insight about people...She would encourage me, and subtly let me know that she believed in me. When she died, I went into shock. I realized how much she meant to me in that moment, but never knew beforehand. And that was it...it was over.

I don't really remember the rest of the day...I remember that my mother picked me up from school. I remember that on the next day some horrific explosion destroyed a building in Oklahoma City...my mother told me that children were inside. I asked if they were okay...she said no. She drove me into town, and dropped me off at yet another performing arts studio. This was her mission...she knew I needed to be involved in theatre...some way, somehow. I admire her drive.

I remember the first class. We took a side from the "Cybil" show...it hadn't even aired on TV. I was so excited that we were actually working on something that was fresh. This was fresh...exciting. That was it. I changed. That hour, that day. It was the beginning of the rest of my life. I would live. I would thrive.

I soon made several friends, other students. I got involved in voice and dance. I found my safe place, where I could totally be myself...something I had never been. I was free. I had a purpose after all. I grew into an adult there...an adult I'm proud to be.

Thank you. Thank you for giving my sanctuary. Thank you for being my home for nearly 15 years. Thank you for being a space for me to express and love and live. Thank you for being home to some of my happiest memories. Thank you for helping shape who I am. Thank you for making me the woman I am today. I am grateful.

One other thing...

I posted on my myspace that I'm doing some fun, new things...

I've decided to write. I've started writing a couple of stories, but not much...yet. I think I'm writing some songs, too. I don't know if they'll be any good, but we'll see. If any are decent, I'll record them and get them out.

I'm really enjoying exploring my other artistic abilities. Acting is still my best, but I love expressing myself through other forms. So, I might be on an acting hiatus until the new year. I say that, and then I go and audition for another show. I just feel like there's something itching to get out of me, and I don't know what yet. Words definitely, but not sure what.

We'll soon find out...

Price of Ugly...

So, here's the deal. I'm in this musical production of "The Threepenny Opera." We've had 2 performances, and have 4 more to go. I'm having a blast playing around with the other cast members, and belting out songs at the top of my lungs. Here's my only complaint:

I have to be ugly. Well, not ugly, but older. Thankfully, I have fantastic skin so I sometimes get confused for a high school student (yea!). However, this skin does have drawbacks when you're trying to play a mid-forties woman with a teenage daughter. So, this is my regime for the show:

Ben Nye base, Ben Nye blush, Mac eye makeup, neutral lip color...now comes the aging process: brown shadowing along temples, chin, corners of eyes along nose; brown pencil to create crow's feet, wrinkles under the eyes and on forehead, and lines around mouth; black shadow lining bottom lash line to create a "I slept in my makeup all night look." Then, I get to put white makeup in my hair to make it look like I'm going gray. Then, I tease the crap out of my hair and twist and pin the front. Then, I put the back into a bun.

Then, the show happens. I look good and haggard. That's great...then, I come home. One, I've left the theatre with all of this makeup still on. Two, I live across the street from a very popular night club. Three, I will be seen by the public. Four, I forget what I look like...

So, I come home and rush inside before people can see me. I scrub my face twice with noxema and a wash cloth. My eyes are now bloodshot from all of the black eyeliner and shadow. I carefully remove pins out of my hair, and take my hair down. Besides the bun in the back coming down, the hair doesn't move...not a good sign. So, I decide to wash my hair to get the gray out. I go to my kitchen sink, because it has the sprayer. No, I don't want to take a full shower at 12am...it'll wake me up and I just really want to wash my hair, wrap it up, and go to bed. So, I have to scrub the areas with the makeup in it twice with shampoo. Then, I condition. Reason: last night, I didn't and I was scratching my head all day because it was so dried out! That takes an extra 5 minutes to rinse out. Finally, I'm ready for the towel. I'm wrapped up...

I go back to the bathroom to put up my toiletries, and my eyes start to burn. There are little black floaties in my eyes now. So, I stare into the mirror and poke at my eyes so that I can hopefully catch the irritating culprits. Then, I put on some night cream to hydrate my skin.

That's it...I'm done. And, look! It's only 2am!! Wow! I'm getting faster at this!

Only 4 more shows to go...

Random Thought...

Like I really have time to blog right this moment, but...oh well!

So, I didn't want to do anything today. I just my body knows better to store energy on performance days...I lounged around and read all day, nothing seemed too important to do.

I finally got around so I could go work out. I pull up and park at school. I'm walking on the crosswalk so I can get to the North Building on campus. There's a light blue SUV wanting to make a right-hand turn that would intersect my path. They decide to honk. I turn to look at them like they're crazy since I had the right-of-way. I continue walking, cursing under my breath...As the pass behind me, they honk three little honks, and I turn at glare at them...continuing on my path. They seem quite eager when I look at them and start waving spastically at me. I kind of shrug and slightly shake my head in a "I don't know who you are and why you're so excited to see me" way.

Now, I don't know who that person was. I didn't recognize the vehicle, nor the person driving it. I was wearing sunglasses, and I was a bit away from them. I really didn't care to take a closer look. I've been duped like this before: A man in a car drives by and stops. He starts waving and rolls down his window to say hi. I say hi, and then he starts up a conversation with me and then asks me to come over to his car. I think ask in a very confused voice if I knew him. He says no, but hopes that I would want to get to know him.

Okay, so I was in the most hideous workout ensemble I could possibly imagine myself in. I was not sporting the cute outfit or even walking with a sense of confidence. I was in a "get in, get out" mode. I run into people everywhere I go that I know somehow or another. So, I'm just not sure which it was...

I hoped there would be a text when I got home to inform me it was someone I knew...no such luck. Oh well...

As for my workout, it went well. I'm glad I went, but I kept thinking about who the person was. It always bugs me when there's a mystery to solve...

Delusions...

So, I'm in this show. And in this show, I play a wife. A wife to a man. This man is played by a friend of a friend. I've really only known the guy since we started rehearsals...maybe three weeks ago. My friend "S" is the stage manager of this show. Here's how today's conversation with "S" went:

M: So, "J" called me the other night after rehearsal. He's wanting to work on the script. I don't feel comfortable with that.
S: Uh huh...He told me he was going to call you. I've gotta tell you something.
M: Okay, you first.
S: "J" was asking me what you've been saying about him while you were singing your songs. He was saying that he thinks you're really into him, but scared to make a move. He kept trying to get me to tell him what you've said about him.
M: WHAT?!?!?! What did you say to him in response?
S: Well, nothing really. I said you didn't say anything about him.
M: WHAT?!?!?!
S: Oh, and he wanted you to give him a ride home but you weren't listening to him because you put your iPod on at full blast. He told me he thought you were mad because you saw him "flirting" with me.
M: WWWWHHHHAAAAATTTTT?!?!?!?!?!?!?! How delusional can someone be?! WHAT?!
S: What did he say when he called?
M: I had just gotten home from rehearsal, and he called. And I answered, "Yeah?" because I didn't want to talk. He asked if we were going to rehearse lines and I said sure. Then, he said "ok, come on over." I said, "No!" and said I was going to bed. Then, he wanted to know when. I said during the day, because it was safer, and said maybe Saturday around 12p-3p. Then, he says, "I'll bring a bottle of wine." I then say "NO!!" He said why, and I said because wine had too many calories right now and I don't want to drink when I work. He left it with me to call him.
S: Well, he said he's going to make his move in the next 5 days.
M: But, I'm not interested in him! EVER! NOT EVER! You know this! This pisses me off! I told him I'm not dating, and I focused on other things right now.
S: Yeah, he said that. He said he thinks your just saying that because you're scared.
M: WHAT?!?!

So, the conversation went on from there, but it was mainly me cursing and screeching about this crazy scenario. Let me set the record straight: I'm single. I'm staying that way. I'm moving in less than a year, and I don't want complications. I want freedom. My work, and everything that revolves around my work, is my one and only focus. I'm not dating anyone, no matter how utterly sexy they are because there are more important things right now...SERIOUSLY.

So, this "J"...let me tell you. He is not in my category. He will never be in my dating category. Last week, he proceeded to slap me on the ass when I walked by him. I told him not to do that, and he said he would again. I went on to threaten his balls and other vital organs if he touched me again, and he thought I was joking. Then he says, "I thought you were into that sort of thing."

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MEN?!?!?!?!?! This is the second guy in the last couple of weeks, and they just don't seem to get the signs that I lay out for them so clearly. Other people get them, but not these guys. Also, I have an ex whose continually trying to get a hold of me (even a text tonight), even though I continue to ignore him. I have said I don't want anything, and they keep bugging me. I don't want to be mean...I don't know how to say you are not physically attractive to me. Or, you make no money and are not responsible so why would I want you. Or, you have no drive and your stuck and it doesn't appeal to me at all.

I'm so pissed, because I can't get away from this guy and he's going to try something in the next couple of days. UGH! I have to work with him for the next three weeks, and it's killing me that he thinks I want him! I don't want anything other than a good professional acting relationship...period.

I hope I've made my point clear...I know I've been rambling and I'm sure there are tons of typos.

"Twilight" and all things holy...

So, I recently read the entire "Twilight" series, in less than a week. Before I hear any gripes and complaints about the teeny-bopper series, let me explain some things about myself:

Ever since the first time I saw "Elvira" on TV, I wanted to be a vampire...well, play one.

I was a Vampire on Halloween for 3-4 years straight until my mother made me stop...she thought it was a little obsessive and demonic...

I love Vampire stories, always have. I watched anything Vampire-esque growing up, and I still do. Yes, Joss Whedon fan right here...

So, with that all said, I really enjoyed the series. I would NOT recommend the series to any child, however. There's too much talk of romance and sex...a child (and teenager, for that matter) really doesn't have a clue what this means. Maybe late teens, but still...

Anyway, I loved them. I totally identified with the protagonist, and really enjoyed the story line. I'm not a total fan of Stephenie Meyer's work, but I will have to read "The Host" to know for sure. I'm not sold on her writing, but I'm like that with most authors. I'll explain...

I'm a multi-tasker. It takes quite a bit of effort to get me to focus on one single thing at a time. So, reading is not something I do a lot of. Unless, it's the news...or something that can be useful. Don't get me wrong...I love reading and have read a lot, it's just that I find it hard to find things that really pique my interest. The author has to capture me within the first two pages for me to dedicate time and energy into their work. J.K. Rowling was always most successful at doing this...

Back to "Twilight" and the series: I liked the love story. I'm a sucker for passionate, all-consuming love. I like to believe one day I will have that. I'm a sucker for the anti-heroine...the girl that feels like the outcast, but turns out the be the big winner in the end...again, I feel that's so me. Also, her age beyond her actual years...again, me. I grew up taking care of my mother, just like the lead...all too real. I also like the danger that the relationship of the love birds were constantly in, even the danger they posed to each other.

There was only one real thing that bugged me about the series...the editing process in the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th books. There were obvious typos and misspellings and words that were not accurately used. I'm sure Little, Brown is a decent publisher, but I'm curious as to why they did not catch these errors. It always bugs me when I read something (anything, really), and there are typos. Listen, I'm not perfect, and I know I have some major typos in my blog, but I try to go back and fix them. Thank you mom for making me obsessive about writing like Mommy Dearest made Christina obsessive about the use of wire hangers...or the throwing out of wire hangers, anyway...

So, that's my review. I'm anticipating the film release of the first book in November. Yes, I will probably be standing in line waiting for the theater doors to open with a bunch of tweens, but it's worth it. Catherine Hardwicke is a fantastic, eccentric director, so it should make for a good film. We'll see what happens...

Anyone out there? / Birthdays

So, I suck. I don't write anymore...not that I don't have anything to write about. I mean, I've got TONS to vent about, but I just think that I can't necessarily get it out of my head in any kind of understandable language. I do know there's a lot of explicitives intermingled in the nonsense that's occurred over the last, well, year since I've been on here. So, we'll just move forward, instead of backward. No need to relive everything...Here's the latest:

I officially turned 27 on Sunday. I'm officially in my "late twenties." Let me take a moment to explain how the early, mid, and late work in regards to age. When your 20, 30, 40...you're just that. 21-23 constitute "early twenties." Now, 24-26 are known as the "mid twenties," while 25 can just be 25. Therefore, 27-29 become "late twenties." So, there ya go...my twenties are nearing their end. I realized last year when I moved into a new age bracket when taking any kind of census that I was getting older...it's very, very, very strange.

I mean, I don't feel 27...although, I've been calling myself so for months. I guess I was giving up on life. Who would say they're older than they really are unless they were trying to get into an 'R' rated movie or get into a bar??? I think I really wanted it to be over...well, now I'm really 27. Anyway, I just don't feel like I look 27. Really, thank you God and heredity and Felina bras for making my life complete...otherwise, I would be looking for an out sometime soon!

But, the most amazing thing to me is that my high school reunion is in May. Really?!?! I'm that OLD??? Seriously!? I mean, I haven't finished my degree yet. I will have by that time, but I was too busy having fun and traveling the world to realize that 10 years was up.

So, that brings up my next thought...do I go? I mean, I'm successful...broke, but successful. I'm respected in my field and I've built amazing contacts over the years. But, do I need to go to a reunion to prove that? I mean, that's was the plan 10 years ago. But, now I'm less angry. If you can't tell, I hated high school....I mean, loathed. I was completely different from anyone else, and the student body made sure to let me know that. It wasn't until after high school that I realized i was beautiful. I really had no clue and I was so oblivious to that fact that I never saw the attention that I got because of my beauty. I feel weird even writing that because I still have trouble saying that. Oh well...Anyway, I only talk to a handful of them now. I see them when I want, so why would I be going? What is my motivation? I don't want to relive the past, nor do I want to dwell on it. I'm happy with who I am, and I don't need to go to a lame-ass party to prove that. Also, with the invention of Myspace and Facebook, these people have found me. So, they basically know where I am and what I'm doing...I don't know. It's just weird to me...

So, what's new? I'm in Threepenny Opera playing Mrs. Peachum. This is my sixth show this year, and I plan on doing more before the year's up. I will finish my bachelor's degree in Public Relations in May. After transferring a million times, and programs vanishing, I will be finished. When I heard that, I cried...really. After that last loose end is tied up, I'm outta here. Finally. I have a plan in works to move to NYC by September 1, 2009...10 years later, but not too late. I'm finally going to take advantage of my talents and genes and contacts and do what I should've been doing all this time. Better late than never...

Ciao!