Man Hunting...

On my continuing quest for the perfect man, I came across this:



I want Don Draper...I wonder if I could myspace-stalk him...

Drama, drama, and more drama...

Why, oh why do I love ellipses? I don't really know...

So, my laptop crashed Friday evening. It was the most frustrating, irritating, crippling experience of the past couple of months...I live on my laptop. I guess that means that I need to live more in the real world...

And yes, it is officially fixed. Actually, like new again. I had the blue screen of death...yea...that bad. Luckily, the only thing I lost were my Web page bookmarks. I'll discuss the laptop story in full later...

So, I'm in another show. It's fun and Halloween-themed. I like...only problem: I'm hurting myself physically every night! So, here's the deal: I bruise easily. I also try to live in the moment of the scene. I forget about all other things that are not directly involving me or the scene I'm in...I can't help it. It's a good thing, and I guess, a bad thing. See, in this first scene, I'm tied up to a chair. I'm unconscious, and I try to break free. So, I struggle. I struggle against the ropes and the chair. I can't get free, or I'm not supposed to. So, I fighting really hard...against myself. I never win. Then, the bruises come. Currently, I look like I have gigantic birthmarks on both my arms that spread out in weird patterns. Last week, one arm was bruised just appropriately that I looked like a heroine junkie. Last night was the first night that they actually started to hurt...

So, I'm fine. The cast feels horrible, thinking they've done this to me. It's all me, folks! My friend K called me a "method bitch" last night. I'm not really method, I just am in the moment of the scene...whatever! Anyway, I can't go out of the house without long sleeves on because people freak out. They see a hint of a bruise and they think I'm the victim of domestic violence. You think I'm joking? It's really funny to watch people as they take in my handiwork.

Anyway, I've got the day off from school and rehearsal and everything else. Gym time in about an hour, and then to bed early...laptop story to be continued...

Getting back on the horse...

So, I've been slacking off. After 6 weeks of intensive workout sessions and healthy eating, I slacked off. I really only have slacked off on the eating. I started eating late at night again, and what's with this new obsession with cheese?!?! Come on now, seriously?!?!?!

Anyway, I'm back. I have many goals approaching quickly. I was wanting time to move faster, but now I would like it to slow down again. I've been slacking in other areas, too, like school. I just need to press through this rough patch, and I'll come out the victor on the other end.

So, I'm OFFICIALLY back on the horse. No sneaking treats of any kind. I mean it. I can't even have a pumpkin spice latte...not one. They're crack. My own personal crack addiction. I can't even venture into a Starbucks right now. It really wouldn't be pretty...I also like their apple bran muffins. They're too good to be low in calories...way too good.

Okay, got to stop thinking about the crack. I have to think about how awesome my body is going to look by end of January. I mean, I'll still have some pounds to lose, but not a lot. The holidays are going to be tough, but I can do it. My will power is strong again, and I will conquer all!!!

Seriously though, pumpkin spice lattes were created by Satan as a way to torture me. Oh, and I haven't gained any weight, I just haven't LOST any more. And crack (aka pumpkin spice lattes) will not help me lose weight...crack is whack, yo!

Punch Drunk and Other Babblings...

I've had 3 hours of sleep in the last 24 hours. I'm going slightly insane with my constant ramblings on random subjects. I'm almost too tired to sleep now, and all I want to do is stress about the show that opens this weekend.

I'm overly insecure with anything I do right this moment, and I'm sure as hell letting everyone know that! ARGH! I think I need a hug...and a nap...

I'll get some sleep, memorize my lines, actually act like a professional actress during rehearsal tomorrow evening (well, I should say "today"), and get my crap in order.

On a side note, I did make some progress in the cleaning/organizing of my closet that's needed to happen since August 2007...when I moved into my loft. I threw out some clothes that will never fit me again (in the good way), and put together a pile to sell to a consignment shop. I also dusted, swept, and vacuumed the entire place...at 3AM. Yes folks...I really did.

Before I start anything else, I'm going to go to sleep...night!

I cheated...

I feel really guilty. I just went to Starbucks and bought a grande soy with whip pumpkin spice latte. After I said that I would wait till Sunday and only get a tall without whip, I did it anyway. I think I have a sickness. If only it was spring time and they didn't have pumpkin spice in...argh!

That, and I think I've eaten, like, 12 pieces of cheese today. If I was pregnant (which I'm not unless I'm carrying Jesus's much younger half-sibling), this would be understandable. However, I'm not (thank GOD!), and I have no excuse for my cravings.

Tomorrow, I must start anew. Now, I haven't consumed over my limit of calories, just it's very frustrating when you're trying to stick to a plan and you don't want to. My willpower sucks this week...

So, for all of those people out there that read this (all two of you), please, PLEASE...I'm begging you now...don't encourage me to cheat! I mean it! I need to stick to the veggie wraps and the teas and water and vitashakes. Just let me get through the next week or two and I think I can get my willpower back. I was doing so well, and then I slipped. I really, really, really mean it. I'm going to be really, really depressed come March when if I'm not suitable for Los Angeles. I might do drastic things...don't let this happen to me!

So, yes, I need support this week. I will hide the cheese, and I won't go near Starbucks. I swear this. If you like the happy Meghan, you will not try to sway me. Now, do your part, and we'll all be happy.

Thank you.

Here's a couple of pics as Mrs. Peachum...

I wanted to show you what I looked like for the show. The camera didn't quite capture the aging makeup, but it did get the white streaks!

Enjoy...

Things to ponder on...

Veneers - To get or not to get?

Granted, I have no $ for said veneers at this moment. However, do I go for the veneers, or do I get the teeth bleached? Mine are nasty yellow (at least I think so) and have always been. So, not sure the bleaching would work as well.

Grande Pumpkin Spice Soy with Whip Lattes

I love them...I mean, LOVE them! If I could have a helmet attached to my head with really warm pumpkin spice latte continually flowing down a straw to my mouth all day long, I would be oh so happy. Another reason why I like fall...

Alas, the pumpkin spice latte is not on my diet plan...why, oh why did I start my diet in the fall? All the good holiday foods and drinks are coming out! Oh well...I went to Starbucks Web site, and if I get a tall pumpkin spice soy w/out whip latte, I will only consume 230 cals (the one I want is 370 cals). It is a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Plus, I can't really afford 1 latte/day right now. So, if I add one latte to my week (on Sundays, which is my "resting" day), I won't really get too addicted, spend way less money, and have a nice treat all at the same time. When I'm rich and famous, I can afford all the pumpkin spice lattes I want AND the personal trainer to kick my butt in gym afterward. Problem meet solution...

Next up, Soy Cheese? Do I make the switch?

At Wal-mart, the soy cheese costs $2.98 for 12 slices. My generic American cheese is $2.46 for 25 slices. Now, I have not sampled the soy cheese. I might like it better, which could cause another problem. I've been snacking on the cheese when I feel slightly peckish. So, the 12 slices would go way too fast. When I'm already spending $2.97 for rice milk, I would like to keep my expenses down. However, I would eliminate dairy completely from my diet with the switch. I'm not sure at this point...

Well, that's all I've got right now. Time to actually do some real work now...

Something really awesome from Google...

Today, Google announced that they will be launching a new application called Mail Goggles. Basically, when activated, the program will make you solve math problems when you try to send e-mails in the wee hours of the morning...basically to prevent drunk e-mailing.

See, I never have that problem, though. My would be drunk texting, and I was guilty of it AGAIN a few weeks ago after about two rounds of cosmos. That's why I try to hide my phone when I know I'm going to let loose for the evening...Now, if they can come up with a problem for drunk texting...

But then again, I can recite some serious Shakespearean monologues while drunk. I'm sure I can do simple math as well...Maybe smart people aren't meant to get drunk?

Check out the article here...

Enjoy!

Autumn...

Absolutely fabulous day today...I had coffee with Amanda downtown. It was perfect weather. After coffee, I walked around the block with her to her car. As I was walking back to my car, the sound of construction and the smell of dead leaves and city made me think of New York...Normally, this time of year I'm in NYC. It made me sad. Then, I realized this time next year I would be living in the city, and I felt a surge of energy.

Something is so fantastic about autumn. I know things are dying, but there's a rebirth of sorts a few months later. Some people focus on the negative, I tend to focus on the positive...when it comes to nature! I love the smell of pumpkins, caramel, apples, cinnamon, hay...aahhhhh! I want to sleep with my windows up tonight.

So, what's new? Well, not much. I have million things to do this weekend, but at least I have a break from performing. I'm basically just focusing on getting my butt in shape (and the rest of my body) and school.

Speaking of working out, I've been going faster this week. I add more resistance every two weeks, and this was an adding week. So, on the elliptical, I've usually only gotten to 3.4 - 3.5 miles in 45 minutes. Really, great time for me...I hate to run! Yesterday, it was 3.63 in 45 mins, and today it was 3.68 in 45 minutes. I don't know if I'll get to 4 miles in 45 mins, but I don't mind trying for 3.75 miles! So, good news with that.

On the food front, since I've been semi-vegetarian for 5 weeks, I think my body wanted more fat/protein. Beginning Tuesday evening, I started craving cheese...of all things. Then, I wanted meat, like turkey or chicken. So, I had one serving of turkey sandwich meat. Then, yesterday...jeez! I couldn't stop eating! I wanted everything I could find...thank God for healthy food in the house. I was so scared when I weighed myself this morning that I had gained 5 lbs...luckily, I hadn't gained anything. I guess I needed it! It's just that...cheese...really??

God, this must be so boring...I'm writing about cheese! Come on, people! I've become a crazy homebody that's obsessing about cheese and working out!!! What has happened to me?!

Well, I will add one more thing for the two people that read this blog...I've written 30 pages or so of a story that I came up with. I've been on a bit of a roll this week with it. Basically, the last 1/3 of the story is pretty much fleshed out. I need to now write a middle part, and connect the beginning and the ending. So, I'm about 2/3 of the way complete. So, I'll connect everything, and then go back to elaborate on some of the key plot points, and then take away any of the dribble. Who knows...I may have the next NY Times best seller on my hands!

Okay, whatever...I'm done for now! Night!