Price of Ugly...

So, here's the deal. I'm in this musical production of "The Threepenny Opera." We've had 2 performances, and have 4 more to go. I'm having a blast playing around with the other cast members, and belting out songs at the top of my lungs. Here's my only complaint:

I have to be ugly. Well, not ugly, but older. Thankfully, I have fantastic skin so I sometimes get confused for a high school student (yea!). However, this skin does have drawbacks when you're trying to play a mid-forties woman with a teenage daughter. So, this is my regime for the show:

Ben Nye base, Ben Nye blush, Mac eye makeup, neutral lip color...now comes the aging process: brown shadowing along temples, chin, corners of eyes along nose; brown pencil to create crow's feet, wrinkles under the eyes and on forehead, and lines around mouth; black shadow lining bottom lash line to create a "I slept in my makeup all night look." Then, I get to put white makeup in my hair to make it look like I'm going gray. Then, I tease the crap out of my hair and twist and pin the front. Then, I put the back into a bun.

Then, the show happens. I look good and haggard. That's great...then, I come home. One, I've left the theatre with all of this makeup still on. Two, I live across the street from a very popular night club. Three, I will be seen by the public. Four, I forget what I look like...

So, I come home and rush inside before people can see me. I scrub my face twice with noxema and a wash cloth. My eyes are now bloodshot from all of the black eyeliner and shadow. I carefully remove pins out of my hair, and take my hair down. Besides the bun in the back coming down, the hair doesn't move...not a good sign. So, I decide to wash my hair to get the gray out. I go to my kitchen sink, because it has the sprayer. No, I don't want to take a full shower at 12am...it'll wake me up and I just really want to wash my hair, wrap it up, and go to bed. So, I have to scrub the areas with the makeup in it twice with shampoo. Then, I condition. Reason: last night, I didn't and I was scratching my head all day because it was so dried out! That takes an extra 5 minutes to rinse out. Finally, I'm ready for the towel. I'm wrapped up...

I go back to the bathroom to put up my toiletries, and my eyes start to burn. There are little black floaties in my eyes now. So, I stare into the mirror and poke at my eyes so that I can hopefully catch the irritating culprits. Then, I put on some night cream to hydrate my skin.

That's it...I'm done. And, look! It's only 2am!! Wow! I'm getting faster at this!

Only 4 more shows to go...